U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
