did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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