hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
