so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
