So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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