I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
