You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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