she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
