we made out on top of his cat.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
