So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
