is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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