"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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