new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
