Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
