Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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