is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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