no, he came in my armpit
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
