what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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