69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
wow bdsm is so cute
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
