I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
