even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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