i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
