How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
