Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
