so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
