I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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