I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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