It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
