the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
