I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
