maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
