Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
