All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
