New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dignity is for republicans.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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