Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
