Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
