oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
