what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
