so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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