I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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