your parents love me but you hate me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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