She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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