Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
