I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
