He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
