The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
