I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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