The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
