Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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