I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
